Bill Gates wanted to look good and impress everyone with his success. He decided to measure the accomplishments of Microsoft against General Motors.
The comparison went like this:
If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades, you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour (16,000km/hr), or you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds (14 kilos) and gets a thousand miles to the gallon of gas. In either case the sticker of the new car would be less than $50.
In response to all this goading, GM responds: "Yes, but would you really want to drive a car that crashes 4 times a day?"

If Microsoft Built Cars.

  1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a new car.
  2. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you'd have to restart it. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this and drive on.
  3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail to restart and you'd have to reinstall the engine.
    For some strange reason, you'd just accept this too.
  4. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought a "Car95" or a "CarNT". But then you'd have to buy more seats.
  5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was twice as fast, twice as easy to drive -- but it would only run on 5 percent of the roads.
  6. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.
  7. The oil, engine, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
  8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
  9. The airbag system would say, "Are you sure?" before going off.
  10. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.

Funny errors that you would get in a car from Microsoft.

  1. Error: This crossing is unsafe, and migth cause your car to crash, are you sure you want to continue?
  2. Error: You just hit somone, or you'r tire is flat.
  3. An error acured while loading motor ( Ignore, Retry, Abort).
  4. Error while reversing. Road migth be revers protected.
  5. Error using 3. gear, try the 2.
  6. Error whiping windscrean. It migth not be raining.
  7. WARNING: Unsafe to drive this fast because the road is not prodused by Microsoft.
  8. An error 09454:233442:65444 acured while changing line.
  9. WARNING: This driver is not athorised, and migth not be thrustworthy. You should use a driver from Microsoft.
  10. Error: Unable to read speedlimit-sign, contact Miklosoft for spell corretctions.
  11. You'r not authorised to drive this car. Contact Microsoft to obtain a lisens.
  12. Error: can not start. Engienpart "coil" missing.
  13. Error: Not enough gasolin left, try refilling, or use Microsoft gas-doubler.
  14. Error: Car full. To continue try throwing somone out of the car.
  15. Error: can not access this hill, to steep, try upgrading your engien, or throw somone out of the car.
  16. WARNING: Steringwheel locked, do you want to continue? (Yes, No, Ignore)
  17. WARNING: Car not on road, try using Microsoft autopilot to help you back on.
  18. Welcome to Microsoft Car, tip of the day: * By using the stearingwheel you can navigate the car at allmost any Microsoft opptimised road.*
    [ ] Do not show this helpscreen at startup.
Errors you would get anyway.

  • Microsoft smartest error-message: "Drive A: Not found, formatting C: instead."
  • This program has performed an illegal error. Push "OK", or "Cancel" to continue.

Computer Technology explained.

Are you terrified of your computer?
Do you feel out of place and overwhelmed when your friends or coworkers start spouting reams of technical jargon that you will never understand?
Then this article is for you and will help you to get over your fear of technical terminology.

  • 486 - The average IQ needed to understand a PC.
  • State-of-the-art - Any computer you can not afford.
  • Obsolete - Any computer you own.
  • Microsecond - The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.
  • Syntax Error - Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object.
  • GUI (pronounced gooey) - What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it.
  • Keyboard - The standard way to generate computer errors.
  • Mouse - An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
  • Floppy - The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
  • Hard Drive - The sales technique employed by computer salesmen.
  • Portable Computer - A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.
  • Disk Crash - A typical computer response to any critical deadline.
  • Power User - Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.
  • System Update - A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.